My husband is a flirt
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| Advisor: ADA DIKE |
Dear Caring Heart,
I and my husband have
been married for three years but yet to have an issue. We were living in Kaduna before the bank he
works for transferred him to Lagos.
A year after we have
been living in Lagos,
he came back from work one evening and told me that he has been transferred
back to Kaduna.
He sent me there to arrange a new apartment we rented.
I have been living
alone in Kaduna
for five months. The news I am hearing from Lagos is that there is a lady living with him
in our apartment.
Should I divorce him?
Happiness
Dear Happiness,
Divorcing him will not
solve the problem. This is a trying moment for you so be prayerful because any
action you take may be disastrous.
Since he knew he was
not moving out of Lagos
immediately he shouldn’t have sent you there.
Call him on phone and tell him that you want to
come back to Lagos
since he feels reluctant to move back to Kaduna.
Don’t wait till you hear that has married to another lady, go back to Lagos and see what he is
doing.
Should I marry
my late sister’s husband?
She was the first daughter in a family of
six-two males and four females. She got married three years ago. Her first
child came two years ago after a protracted labour which lasted for more than
twenty four hours. She took in last year and died in the cause of delivering
her second child. Our cries and tears could not bring her back.
Shortly after her burial, my parents asked
me to go to my late sister’s matrimonial home and take care of the two children
she left behind.
Each time my parents call me to ask about
how we are doing, they always advise me to make myself available for my brother
in-law to impregnate me since he is rich to enable them continue a long-lasting
relationship with him. Moreover, my parents said they don’t want another woman
to come in and maltreat my nephews.
Recently, I am beginning to have interest
in my brother in-law though I am shy to make my interest known to him since he
has never made any romantic move towards me.
Recently, I cracked a dirty joke and he
laughed hilariously. Furthermore, I am beginning to dress skimpily to arouse
him but something within me is telling me to forget about my parents’ advice
and look for my own husband. Should I marry him? I hate to discuss this story
but it has been bothering my mind.
This issue became the most challenging one
I have ever come across in life. For me, taking over her marriage is what I
don’t know how to go about.
Gloria
You did not tell me whether you are the
second daughter for you to marry your sister’s wife. You will not be the first
person that has done that because many cultures permit it.
There is a couple near where I live. The
man’s late wife died after a brief illness. His family and that of his late
wife decided to continue their relationship by giving him his late wife’s
younger sister to marry. The deceased had two male children before she died. Presently,
the late woman’s sister has three male children for her brother in-law, making
five boys and they are living happily.
On the other hand, there is a movie about a
lady whose sister died. She lured her brother in-law to bed while she was
taking care of the deceased sister’s only child. Later on, her brother in-law
impregnated and married her. She maltreated her niece whom she turned to
house-help. Her late sister in anger spiritually attacked her and she became insane
and ran away from that house.
Don’t mortgage your life on the altar of
emotion or wealth. Shy away from such a decision because you don’t know whether
he will love you the way he loved your sister.
My husband is a brute
Our meeting was what people call, regard as ‘love
at first sight.’ We met at a seminar in Port
Harcourt and got married after six months of dating
and courtship.
My problem is that he
gets annoyed over little issues and beats me often without any cause.
Most times, he does not
care whether there is a visitor in our house or not but keeps slapping me over
every provocation. I would have moved out of the house if I do not have any child
for him because I am afraid that he might one day kill me in anger.
My joy is that I did
not beg him to marry me so I don’t know what has come over him for the past
three years of living together.
What shall I do?
Amarachi
Dialogue is the best medicine. Wife battering is a primitive form of
correcting a woman.
Tell him to stop beating you over every little thing. If he continues
that way, report him to your pastor or his friends or his family members and
see if they can talk to him.
There is a common saying that marriage is for better for worse. This
aspect you are facing is not really the worse aspect but the challenging part.
Carry your cross and decide whether or not to continue to live with him.
If you were
living abroad, he dare not touch you because he will be arrested and detained
as soon as he touches you, but our society is different.
He abandoned me
and married another lady
Dear caring heart,
I have been dating a guy living near my
street for the past two years and he promised to marry me as soon he gets an
accommodation.
One day, he invited me to a dinner where he
told me that he loves and would marry me.
I am heart-broken now because he did not
tell me that he is getting married. I heard it from someone else.
Should I attend his wedding? He still calls
to assure me that he loves me. He also said that he is getting married to make
the other lady that she has everything now.
Please advise me on what to do.
Chichi
He is deceiving you by saying that he still
loves you because he would have got married to you if he does. You know your
street is not far from where he lives, stop seeing him because his wife may
suspect you of dating her husband if he gets winds of it. Tell him to
concentrate on the one he chose to marry to enable you plan your future.
If I were you, I will not attend his
wedding since he did not invite you.
Don’t listen to his sugar-coated words
because as soon as they are declared as husband and wife, the other lady owns
him and all that he has.
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