Heart-to-Heart With ADA DIKE

My girlfriend is not romantic

Advisor: ADA DIKE

I am 35 years old man, and a lawyer by profession in love with a fresh graduate. We have been dating for about five months and I planned to settle down with her due to some outstanding qualities she possesses. My problem is that she doesn’t measure up, romantically and this bothers me so much.

Rowland

Teach her how to be romantic. Learning new things is a gradual process so her being unromantic should not pose as a threat to your relationship. Encourage her and buy books on romance for her.

 

I admire my church member

I am a 20-year-old confectioner. There is a guy in my church that I admire so much. I spoke to him through phone and gave him wrong information about myself and I told him I admire him so much. But after some days, I told him the truth about myself. Since then, I have not been myself. I have feelings for him and I don’t know what to do.

Confused girl.

There is nothing wrong for a girl to walk up to a guy and make her feelings known to him. Though, it is not common here but westernization has liberated ladies from this side of the divide to express their feelings.

Wait for his reaction and know whether he is interested in that relationship before making any other move. Since two of you worship in the same church, don’t do any funny thing that will place you in a wrong way in the eyes of the right thinking members of your church since some churches frown at male-female friendship.

Occupy your mind with better thoughts since he has not responded to your advances. Moreover, you don’t know whether he is engaged with a lady.

On the other hand, organize a date to meet with him and ask him to give you reply to enable you know whether he is interested in you or not. It can be heart breaking if a lady keeps awake all nights, thinking of a guy that does not want him. So the earlier you get his reply, the better.

Is she cheating on me?

I am an ardent reader of your column. I am an accountant working in a multinational company. My problem is that I find it difficult to trust women after my past relationship crashed due to infidelity. There is lady I am dating presently, I am suspecting her of cheating on me and she feels bad about my accusations. I don’t know what would convince me that she truly loves me.

Chuks

I don’t think your relationship with her will last if you continue to suspect her. The fact that your past relationship crashed due to infidelity does not mean that the second one would be happen the same way.

 Give her the benefit of doubt and pretend as if she only knows and dates you. By doing that, your confidence towards the survival of your present relationship would be strengthened.

 Forget about your past relationship and move on with your life because there must be a reason why it crashed and it could be for your own good. Hold on to your new found love, trust her and delete the imaginable thoughts that are not real from your memory.