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| AdvisorAda Dike |
Should I go out with my girlfriend’s boyfriend?
Dear Ada,
I
am an ardent reader of your column on relationship and I quite appreciate the
good work you are doing.
I grew up in the same compound with a lady who
happens to be my age mate and
She
has a boyfriend whom she confided in me that they will soon marry, but what
baffled me is that, that same guy is asking me out. He is handsome and rich. I
was confused when he approached so I asked him to give me some time to think
about it and I have been reluctant to reveal it to my girlfriend that is why I
decided to seek advice from you. Should I date him?
Jenny
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| Model has nothing to do with any of these stories |
Hello Jenny,
Please
don’t go out with your girlfriend’s boyfriend because she won’t be happy with
you if she hears that you betrayed the trust she has for you.
These
days, some men tempt their girlfriend’s female friends without feeling guilty.
It is wrong because no one would be happy to hear that your close friend is
dating your friend. Tell him that you are not interesting in dating him and
ensure that nothing brings two of you together so that he won’t seduce you with
money or gifts. Some men are die-hards and don’t take ‘no’ for an answer when
they approach a lady due to ego. So, they go to any length to get any lady they
are interesting in having. There is a tendency that such men will do same to
their wives’ female friends and they would kill any of their friends that comes
close to their wives.
It is a funny world so, act wisely. If he is
not satisfied with your friend, let him go elsewhere and look for a girl
instead of coming to you which will hurt your friend if she finds out that he
is going out with you.
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I am tired of being single
Dear Ada,
I
am a 45-year-old lady working in a reputable organisation. I was dating a man
in early 2000 before we parted ways due to family issues. Since then, I have
been on my own without a boyfriend.
It
is now affecting me in the area of dealing with people because I feel
frustrated. The few men that are coming my way are either too old (in their
60s) or too young for me (in their early 30s). I am tired of being single and
don’t know what to do. I envy divorcees who have tasted marriage and wonder
give me a husband because I really wish to settle down.
Sophie
Hello Sophie,
Don’t
bother about it so that it won’t tell on your body. The more a lady is worried
about getting married, the more she looks old and haggard.
Always give yourself a nice treat and appear
smartly and beautifully dressed at all times so that people won’t gossip t that
you are frustrated due to lack of husband.
I
attended a wedding in first week of June and the lady was much older than her
husband. Tongues wagged, heads shook but the truth is that they are happily married
and living together.
What
matters is compatibility. Accept one of the men coming to you if you feel you
are compatible. There is a saying that “Anytime someone wakes up is his or her
morning.” The most important thing in life is to live a healthy life and other
things will fall in place.
Be
happy at all times and try to be friendly to anyone that comes your way. You
will be surprised to see the number eligible suitors that will beg you to marry
them.
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I doubt her love
Dear Ada,
I
am from Delta State. I am in a new relationship with a young beautiful lady in her
early 20s. I love her so much that I hardly bear her absence but, I doubt if
the girl really loves me like I love her because she is not free with me and
does not allow me to have sex with her, though she is very kind and respectful
to me. She often gives me money, sends me recharge cards and brings food to me.
Besides,
she sleeps with me almost every night without me inviting her but, always begs me
each night she comes not to ask her for sex. I feel I am being a fool agreeing
with her.
I mean to propose to her only if she can prove
a bit of this aspect, which is allowing me to make love her to her anytime I
want it. Though, I cannot stand the chance of losing her. I am confused and
need your advice.
Ernest
Hello Ernest,
The
love two of you have for each other is the type I call ‘Jankara love.’ She gives you money, sends you recharge
cards, gives you food and also comes to your house to sleep, without invitation
and asks you not to touch her. Why did she come if she does not want you to
touch her?
What
do you give to her? Sex! On top of all the sacrifices she is making, you still
doubt her love. My dear, marry her if you cannot control the urge to have sex
and stop doubting her love for you. She won’t do all the things you mentioned
if she does not love you so, stop dilly-dallying, propose to her, pay her dowry
and have her to yourself.
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I don’t understand him anymore
Dear Ada,
I
am very happy to discuss this with you. I am a lady of 25 years old, single. I
have been jilted by three guys but, last year, I met a guy, a colleague’s
boyfriend. They dated for five years but didn’t have a happy relationship.
My
fcolleague told me that she’s no more interested in him, that makes me to come
into the matter, but what later happened was a long story which we can’t
explain ourselves. We are now together for a year in a sweet relationship but,
now I don’t understand him anymore. I am confused, that is why I want you to
advice me.
Ty
Hello Ty,
Personally,
I abhor dating a guy that has dated one’s friend or one’s colleague because
there is a tendency that he might use and dump you. That is does not mean that
I have not witnessed a relationship in which a guy dated and dumped a lady and
later married her girlfriend or colleague.
Even
if you knew why he parted ways with your colleague and felt you can handle the
situation, you supposed to predict the future to know whether the relationship
would work out before you embarked on it.
Sometimes,
guys see red lights a lady flashed at them and fall for it just for fun My
candid advice for you is to look for another guy and forget about him..
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Love quotes
A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man
cannot live without love. ~ Max MullerLove is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ~ Aristotle
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. ~ C. S. Lewis
A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. ~ Honore de Balzac
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