Heart-to-Heart with ADA DIKE

Advisor Ada Dike

She is close to another man

Dear Ada,

I am an undergraduate student in my 20s. I am dating a lady in my department since I gained admission in 2008.

I loved her with everything I have and she has contributed much in our relationship, especially when I am broke. Since I realised that she is well brought up through the gesture she normally gives me. We started dating in February 2009 till date but I noticed that she is close to a man. I asked her and she did not deny it.

Psalm

Hello Psalm,

You are lucky to have a sincere and honest lady who does not lie. Look for another lady since your girlfriend is dating someone so that you will have someone to fall back to when the chips are down.

She refused to date me

Dear Ada,

I am 25 years old man. There is a girl I met in my school, I love her so much and I asked her out but she said she is not interested in a relationship. She later said she did not want to deceive me, saying that she has a guy that has been waiting for her for close to three years. She later sent me a text message that ‘we are friends and I envy that so much. I want you to be happy and loved but I am not the right person.’ Please I need your advice.

Godwin

Hello Godwin,

If she prefers the other guy, that means she is not meant for you. Get a life by dating another lady. I know it is painful but the next lady you will meet may be nicer and better than her.

Two men want to marry me

Dear Ada,

I have a very big problem. Two men from Imo and Anambra States really love me, they are very nice and both of them want to marry me.

Before I met them, I had no one for six years. We later had a problem that is when I met the other guy. They are ready to do anything to have me because I am good. I am confused and I don’t know who to marry. Please help me.

Anonymous,

Hello,

Since it is not possible for a woman to marry two men, go to God in prayer. He will direct you to choose the one that loves you more. It is possible for two people to love a lady equally.

My fiancee is smokes cigarettes

I met a 25-year-old lady in a church a couple of months ago and she has all the qualities I expect my life-partner to possess. But she is a chain smoker. I have on several occasions advised her to quit that habit since our society frowns at it but she kept promising me to do so.

Recently, my friends whom I have already informed about my intention to marry her came to my house. No sooner had they entered in than Jane came out from the bedroom with a packet of cigarettes and smoked all of them in present of my friends.

Right in her presence, my friends made their feelings about cigarettes known to her but she ignored them and continued to smoke it. I love her and would want to settle down with her. I am confused.

James

Hello James,

The task of giving up ones habit is a difficult one. You are in the position to help her to quit smoking so continue to tell her the consequence of her habit. I believe she will change though it won’t happen immediately. Look for another lady if she refuses to quit smoking.

He wants us to invest together

Dear Ada,

 I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years and we have been living together since then and I have gotten to the point where I feel it is time to go to the next step. But I realised that he has two other women who have children for him.

He wants us to build a house together but I refused because we are not yet married, coupled with the fact that I don‘t have a child for him yet.

I insist we do court marriage before any other thing but on the other hand, I feel as if I am pushing him into something he does not want to do just to make me happy. It seems as if he will not love me as much anymore by making him do this and I don’t think it is right.I don’t know what to do. I love him with all my heart and soul and I know he loves me too.

Ebere

Hello Ebere,

The situation you find yourself in is one which only you can decide on. While not getting married is not a big deal to some folks, it is an extremely important next step in a relationship for many others especially in our society.

Do not to invest all your money in a joint venture because it is risky. What if his kids and the other women rise after his demise to fight for what two of you laboured together? Convince him to marry you before you invest with him.

His father does not love me

Dear Ada,

I am 20 years old and I am in love with a guy that I love so much and he loves me to. But his father does not like me.

Recently, his father asked my father to warn me that I should stay away from his son. What shall I do?

Anonymous

Hello,

Don’t leave your boyfriend but tell him what his father did. His response and behaviour will determine the next action you will take. His father can advise him the right step to choose if he feels he is not making a good choice but not to the extent of warning your father to tell you to stop seeing his son.

Love Quotes

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ~ Aristotle

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. ~  C. S. Lewis