Heart-to-Heart With ADA DIKE

Advisor Ada Dike

He beats me often

I met my husband at a party organized by my former roommate at school and one thing led to another, we dated and later got married two years ago. My problem is that he gets annoyed over little issues and beats me often without any cause. My family members are threatening to move me out of his house but I refused because I don’t want to lose him. What shall I do?

Doris

Dialogue is the best medicine. Shed off that nagging attitude if you have it. On the other hand, wife battering is a primitive form of correcting a woman. In humility, appeal to him to stop beating you over every little thing. If he continues that way, report him to his family members and see if they can talk to him.

There is a common saying that marriage is for better for worse. This aspect you facing is not really the worse aspect but the challenging part.

Ponder over it and decide whether or not to continue to live with a brute.

If you were living abroad, he dare not touch you because he will arrested and detained as soon as he touches you

Why I can’t continue with her

 Please help me. I am dating a girl for long now but for two reasons, I don’t think I can continue with the relationship. 

The reasons are that, I love fat girls but she is a very slim girl. Secondly, she is a Muslim and she refused to follow me to church. Lastly, she came from a polygamous home, while am a good Christian. But she loves me so much. Please in what do I do?

Ola 

Religion, polygamy and her stature should be a barrier to getting married with her if you truly love her. All these you have mentioned are can be handled maturely. In case of religion, you don’t force someone to belong to a group he or she does not like. You would agree with me that in the past, a lot of families were practising polygamy. She did not ask God to send her a polygamous home; neither would she want her husband to marry another wife after her. For her stature, many woman get fat after they have one or more issues.  Don’t be too sure that she will remain skinny after marriage. Ponder about these issues and see if you can tolerate her. If not, look for another lady immediately.

Is oral sex dirty?

Dear Ada,

I read your publications on sex and romance in the newspaper and I always enjoy it. My question is, “Is sucking and licking private parts of both partners most especially, female during sex dirty, unhygienic and ungodly?

Dear Wale An author wrote and said that: “Risks for HIV: There is some risk involved in having unprotected oral sex with a man or a woman. It is not as risky as unprotected anal or vaginal sex, but it is still possible to get HIV this way. There have been a few documented cases where HIV has been transmitted this way. HIV is found in blood, semen (cum), vaginal fluids, and breast milk. The virus can be transmitted through cuts, openings, sores, and mucous membranes (mouth, anus, vagina) on your body. To avoid risks during oral sex it is important to: Keep semen and vaginal fluids out of your mouth. Make sure that your mouth is healthy and that you don't have bleeding gums, cuts, or mouth sores, because the presence of blood will increase your risk. Oral Sex On a Woman In order to keep vaginal fluids out of your mouth: Purchase a dental dam from Peer Health, or Use a piece of plastic wrap (Saran Wrap) as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina, or Cut an un-lubricated condom into a latex square. Oral Sex On a Man In order to keep cum out of your mouth: Use an un-lubricated, non-spermicidal condom Flavoured condoms are available at Peer Health